They say when it rains, it pours. Seems like we just can’t catch a break, huh? I know. I’m tired. Actually… I’m mad, sad, drained, and exhausted. This weighs on me so heavily. I know you feel it too. The weight is just unbearable. To live in fear. That clench in your gut when you see a police officer ANYWHERE. The shiver and rapid heartbeat you feel when a white person is eyeing for a little too long. The immense heat and rage you feel when another one of us is murdered and becomes another hashtag. Being called thugs for retaliating peacefully. Brands and celebrities that thrive and leech off of OUR culture are nowhere to be found when this happens to us. Ending relationships because they chose to be ignorant or gaslight us for speaking out. We just can’t win for losing.
My heart weeps with you. The feelings you feel are valid. The tears you cry, I cry with you. I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of opening a social media app and the first thing I see is another hashtag attached to a video of a fallen Black person. It makes me sick. It makes me scared. It makes me numb. And I don’t want to keep living this way. I feel incredibly helpless because generations upon generations have experienced this and now, I’m raising a beautiful little girl who will eventually learn that everyone isn’t as kind as she may think they are.
I don’t have any encouraging words because I know you don’t want to hear them. It’s the same words over and over again. Monotonous. Cliché. What I can say is that it is okay to disconnect from everything. It is okay to feel the emotions. Take care of your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Do things that make you happy. Do things that make you feel safe. Continue to uplift one another during this time. I am virtually sending my love to you.