How many times have you been back at a low point? The same low point that you just came from and now you’re back again? For me, this is a common occurrence.
Here I am again, jobless and struggling to find work. For eight months straight, I struggled to find a new job that pays well enough for me to get back on my feet. I was blessed with an opportunity where I did not even have to apply nor interview because of a connection I had. Just when I thought I was being promoted to a full-time permanent position, my contract was terminated. Immediately I’m like, here we go again. I had reached a breaking point in my mental health. I was so angry and just completely swept into a feeling of inadequacy that I couldn’t take it anymore. I cried. I screamed. I went to bed feeling miserable.
I began to pray as I went to sleep that night. I asked God, why am I being put back in this position again? I am 27 years old period I have dreams and deep desires to be fully independent again and to have my own space. I made it a goal this year to move out of my mom’s house and to have a place of my own. I want to give my daughter her own room because quite honestly, I’m tired of sharing a room with a 3-year-old. I just laid it all out to the Lord. I begged Him to hear my prayers, to catch my tears, and to get me the hell out of this repetitive cycle.
Reflecting on the last time I was in this space, I realized that I kept feeling sorry for myself. Instead of asking God to remove me from this part of the cycle, I started asking Him to guide me through it. I picked up a prayer book and bought a prayer journal to document every prayer. I am prepared to see the growth from now until the things that I desire to achieve come to fruition. For some reason, this part of my journey feels different. Yes, I’ve been dealt some terrible cards. However, they did not kill me.
If you are ever brought back to “step one” in your life, think on these things from this post.