#MomLife Archives - Genuinely Gabby

Categories: #MomLife

Budget-Friendly Valentine’s Day Gift Bags for Toddlers

Are you tight on money or short on time? Then this is the perfect budget-friendly way to make a Valentine’s Day gift for your toddler(s)!

What You’ll Need

gift bags (you can find solid Valentine’s Day colors at Dollar Tree; they come in a set of 3)
Candy (Target, Walmart, Kroger, and pretty much any grocery store almost always has BOGO on themed candy. OR you can just buy regular candy without the Valentine’s Day theme. Also, if you have food stamps, candy counts as food!)
Markers/crayons (use the kids’!)
Construction paper (use the kids’ or you can purchase some at Dollar Tree)
Stickers (Dollar Tree)
Optional: Stuffed animals/toys (again…. Dollar Tree!)
Optional: decorative shred (Dollar Tree)
Scissors

How to Make

First, decorate the bags. Write your child’s name on it. I chose to decorate the bags with cute stickers.

Second, put the candy in the bags. I had about four bags of candy that I purchased and just evenly spread it out in each bag.

Third, use the construction paper to make little cards with sweet Valentine’s Day messages. If you’re feeling really crafty, cut the cards into little hearts. Once finished, just drop it in the bag.

*These next two steps are optional*

Add a toy in each bag and then top it off with the decorative shred.

Now you’re ready to pass this out to your little tot(s)! It’s super simple and very cheap. My daughter and her group of friends really enjoyed their bags. This is perfect for your child’s class Valentine’s Day parties or just a sweet little gift to make your little one(s) feel special! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Categories: #MomLife, Lifestyle

How to Balance Motherhood, Blogging, and Other Life Events

When I started my blog, I was so excited. It was something new and a way to express myself freely. But I did NOT know how hard it would be to balance motherhood (which is already hard af), school, work, AND blogging. How do I juggle it all? How do I allow my passion and my motherly duties to coexist? My passion for sharing my perspective fuels me to keep going and creating. Creating this space is a step into finding my way back to myself! So if it’s something that I love, I’m going to make it work.

Now don’t get me wrong, it IS hard work. First, if you’re a mom, then you know that within itself requires a lot of your time. Add in studying for school and attending night classes. Then, working or, in my case, searching for a new job. Finally, the workload for blogging: creating content, taking pictures, editing posts, and scheduling. As hectic as it is, how can someone stay afloat without going insane?

Here are three tips that help me in balancing it all.

Plan, plan, plan. Please, and I cannot stress this enough, plan out everything. This may seem excessive to some. But if you’re juggling multiple things at once, you need to be VERY organized. Humans operate on routines. Seriously. It’s a fact! I have two planners: one for my everyday life and one for my blog. Then, I put everything in my phone calendars (I use Apple and Google). I also type out a to-do list every day of all the things I need to get done. Now, I don’t always stay on track. But for the most part, I do!

Do NOT overwork or stress yourself out! No one on this earth can do everything in a day. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Beyoncé was not made in a day. Do you get what I’m saying? When you overbook yourself on the things you need to do, your body will let you know. Take plenty of breaks when you need to. Break things up into small tasks. For example, laundry. I wash and dry my laundry in two days. Then, I set aside some time to fold. If I don’t complete all of it, I pick up where I left the next day. Every day, I have little tasks to help keep my space tidy and clean. Same with blogging. The notion that you HAVE to post every day or multiple times throughout the week is garbage juice. Sometimes, you just don’t have anything to say! I know I don’t. Take that time to reset your mind and focus on other things. Once your mind is clear, you’ll have the mental space to create!
Comparison is a thief of joy. As difficult as this is, stop comparing yourself to others. No one has what you have. I find myself sometimes being discouraged when I see that my content isn’t being received as well as I hoped it to be. Especially if I see that someone else has something similar to mine. Or if I see a parent whose child is just doing all these great things and I feel like I’m not doing enough for my daughter. I have to remind and give myself some grace that I’m doing the best I can with what I have! What you see is not always the truth, okay? Focus on you and whatever you have going on. The moment you start to compare, you spiral into negative thinking. You do not deserve that! Keep doing you and find ways to stay inspired.

There is nothing wrong with having your hands in many pots. Don’t allow your life and your passion(s) to hinder you from enjoying both!

Genuinely,

Gabby

Categories: #MomLife, Lifestyle

Squashing Mom Guilt

Come on. Bring it in. Let’s talk about it. Mom guilt.

So we all know that being a mother is NOT easy. From the very moment we find out that we’re pregnant, our bodies are no longer ours. We watch our bodies change, grow, and create life. Then we give birth. There’s breastfeeding or bottle feeding. The sleepless nights. POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION AND/OR POST PARTUM ANXIETY. Not knowing how to really care for when your child is sick. Figuring out what to food to feed and when to feed it to them. The list is freaking endless! And I know y’all have read several articles, talked to some mom friends/other moms/uhhh YOUR mom about the joys and not so joyful moments of being a mother.
Just for a disclaimer: anyone that personally knows me, knows I adore my daughter, Avery. She is my whole entire life. I know it’s cliché, but the love I have for Avery surpasses anything I’ve ever known about love. But when you have a bond with someone you gave life to (or adopted!), it’s a totally different feeling. Sometimes I cry at the thought of how precious and beautiful my daughter is. The kindness, the innocence, the huge personality, all of it. I’m just like “WOW! God really snapped when He allowed this tiny human to be my child!” HOWEVER, a very big part of me feels like I’m not as up to par as I should be.

Mom guilt is this pervasive feeling of not doing good enough as a mother, not doing things right, or making decisions that may “mess up” your kids in the long run . I’m sure most mothers have it. Look at the society we live in. If you decide to stay at home to be with your baby, your income is limited whether you are married, just living with your partner, or a single parent. If you decide to go back to work after 6-8 weeks, your income is still limited and so is your time! Daycare fees are absolutely ridiculous and placing your child in the care of someone else that you do not know is triggering. Most jobs are unnecessarily strict with attendance because literally anything can happen to your kid at any given moment and may not be able to get off of work to be there for them.

I’ve been on both sides of mom guilt. For the first three months of Avery’s life, I was a stay at home mom. I was determined and so focused on being with my baby, that I didn’t have a back up plan for when the money I saved ran out quickly. So I went back to my job that I left prior to Avery’s arrival, but only part time. IT WAS TERRIBLE. I worked for a daycare, so that required me to be a play mom at work and an actual mommy at home. All my energy was spent at work and I was extremely exhausted when I got home to my baby. Because I was still breastfeeding, I had to pump even more than I already did. And my pumping sessions were spent in my car, in the parking lot of my job, praying that none of the parents saw me and my boobs struggling. Like I said, terrible. Then I lost my job and didn’t have my own income again. I felt like a failure. Yes, I have help from my boyfriend (Avery’s dad) and my parents. But I didn’t feel like I was supplying anything for Avery on my own.

Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Know that you are not alone. In some form or fashion, another mom is out there going through something similar.
2. Everyone’s experience is not YOUR experience. What works for your friend and her kid(s), may not work for you and yours. And don’t let someone negate your feelings or make you feel as if they are better than you, especially when that person may have had a similar experience. People handle things differently.
3. Take breaks as often as you can. I’m very grateful for the family support that I have. Some mamas don’t have that. Try to in any small way you can. For me, my place of solitude was the shower. As soon as Avery was down for a nap or for the night, I would hop in the shower and release everything from the day. Being that I am a crier, I would sob in the shower A LOT. Also, take mental breaks. Reset your focus. Reassure yourself that it is okay. Being a parent is a daily learning experience.
4. Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself. This is something I still struggle with. I beat myself up whenever I don’t get it right. This refers back to what I said previously that this is a daily learning experience. No one has it all together. I know it’s cliché, but it’s the truth. We are all trying to figure it out in the best way we can.

Ultimately, mom guilt is normal. The key is to not allow it to consume you and cause you to believe that you are an incompetent mother. No mother has it all figured. We have to remember that we are still growing and adjusting to our “new normal.” Motherhood is messy (literally lol) and you just have to roll in the dirt every step of the way.

Genuinely,
Gabby

Categories: #MomLife

My Not-So-Perfectly Perfect Pregnancy Journey

Wrong Timing

I was freshly 23 years old when I found out I was pregnant. Matter of fact, I took the test exactly one month after my birthday. I can’t say that it was the most ideal time to find out that I was about to be a mother. I was already at a very, very low point in my life. I had been kicked out of my major and forced into making my minor my new focus. I was a Sales Lead at Foot Locker. We had a new store manager and the staff was only myself, the manager, and a few new hires. I was basically working full time as a part time employee and “attending” school as a full-time student. I was very depressed and extremely stressed out. I was broke, so much so that I didn’t even have the money to purchase a pregnancy test. In addition to everything I was going through, I constantly had panic and anxiety attacks. Like I said, I was at a very low stage.

I had realized that I still hadn’t received my menstrual cycle. Whenever I’m under extreme amounts of stress, my period would come a lot later. That’s what I assumed when I kept telling the app on my phone that my period hadn’t come. I called my mom, crying. I said “Mama, I am so stressed out. I don’t even have my period yet. It’s been a week. I don’t know what else to do!” My mom told me that I should take a pregnancy test. She also told me that no matter the result, she would still love me and be there for me every step of the way. So I called my boyfriend and told him I was heading to the store to buy a pregnancy test.

Finding Out

I cried the entire way to the store. I picked out a pregnancy test and as I checked out, I felt this deep feeling of shame. When I got back to my apartment, Jay (my boyfriend) came into the restroom with me as I took my test. I took the test and waited for however long it said to wait until the results came back. Pregnant. I cried. Actually, WE cried. I sobbed and wailed and trembled. I kept saying, “I can’t do this. This is the worst part of my life. I cannot bring an innocent human being into my messy ass life. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!” For forty-five minutes, that continued. I called my mom and told her the results. She asked me to come home the next day.

I think the second hardest part was telling my dad. He’s an associate minister at our church, so technically that makes me a “preacher‘s kid.” He didn’t judge me. He hugged me and told me that he would be there for me. He cried, but he also poured a lot of love into me too. Eventually, Jay and I told our families and close friends. Those that were supportive are still very supportive today. And those that felt negatively, well… they don’t particularly exist to either one of us anymore.

Trimesters

The first trimester was okay. I had morning sickness for about four to five weeks, throwing up at least twice a day. I couldn’t even get through brushing my teeth because I would gag. And not having an appetite sucked. I slept. A LOT. It was a rough time for me because I felt (and looked) ugly all the time. Eventually, things eased up.

First sonogram

The second trimester was a lot better. I regained my appetite! I ate Chic-Fil-A almost everyday, Fuzzy’s, street tacos, and Whataburger. I found out that I was having a girl with my mom and that was probably my favorite part of my pregnancy. Everything was going well, until it wasn’t. I took my gestational diabetes test and I didn’t pass. I was diagnosed with it and my whole world came crumbling down again. I felt like it was all my fault and that I had ruined my child’s life even more. Thankfully, it was manageable and I could keep it under control. I just couldn’t eat all my favorite foods. I had to prick my fingers to check my sugars four times a day. Also, I had to document EVERYTHING I ate and how much of it I ate. It was a little stressful, but I was able to get through it. I had my baby shower and that….. it wasn’t the best, but we certainly received plenty of gifts for our baby girl.

The third trimester seemed like a blur. I had double appointments per week for my regular check up and GD checks. Towards the last couple of weeks, I quickly realized that I was really about to give birth. So many other moms that I knew had complete horror stories about their deliveries. Was I scared? Not really. I mean, childbirth is a life or death event. But I wasn’t completely terrified. I was more excited about meeting my daughter.

The Moment of Truth

I had to be induced the night before my due date because I could not carry Avery any longer with GD. My OB wanted me to have a smooth delivery without any complications. The part that no one told me about during childbirth is the pelvic checks. That was the only time that I actually cried during my entire labor and delivery. I got my epidural quickly after my third check because I could not take it anymore. I remained in labor for about 26 hours. What they don’t tell you about labor is that you can’t eat and you only eat ice chips. You can’t even drink water! It was tough, but I managed. The only people I had in the room were my boyfriend and my mom. They were absolutely amazing. My nurses and OB were fantastic. During my delivery, they encouraged me and supported me with each push. I delivered Avery in exactly forty-five minutes. The feeling was euphoric. My moment was here. My child, someone that I was able to grow in a body that felt useless, was here and tangible. The feelings I had before when I first became aware of my pregnancy suddenly went away. I could feel God’s presence with me and within me.

As I reflect back on that time, I am reminded of how precious life is. There is such a thing of having a second chance. Having an opportunity to restart your life. Do I still have moments where I feel worthless? Absolutely. But my daughter is who makes me feel worthy. To have someone love you, unconditionally is the best feeling in the world. Someone that you helped create. Someone that looks at you and fills you with the motivation to do better. Avery is that for me. She literally saved my life. I was at a point in my life where I wanted to end it. I struggled heavily with suicide ideation. I wanted to be gone and not deal with my failures. But, a tiny human changed that for me. And I’m thankful. She brings me so much joy, even when it’s super hard because being a mommy is NOT easy.

My advice to any new and expecting mother reading this is to take it easy. Give yourself time. No mama is perfect and we shouldn’t expect to be perfect. What is perfect is your child(ren).Your pregnancy journey is YOUR journey. Do not let anyone ignite fear into your heart because their journey wasn’t the best. You are wielding an unfathomable strength within you. Enjoy this time to watch your body transform and grow. And most importantly, REST WHENEVER POSSIBLE! I hope that my story inspires you to love on your child, yourself, and those that love you.

Genuinely,

Gabby